Helpless?

First, I would like to let you all know that my next blog will have a video attachment that isn't a cute/silly slideshow.  I want to "introduce" myself to you all and reach out to as many people as possible.  The GREAT part is that I won't be reaching out because I have my shit together.  I'm a mess.  I want to just exist as someone in cyberspace with an opinion and maybe a few facts....yeah...I'll try to work in a few facts : )

So, do I feel helpless?  Today.  Yes.  But not always.  I poured my heart out on what I think would be my first VLOG and I ended up talking so long, at some point my computer was like, "Fuck Off!  I Quit!"  So, its gone and I don't remember what I have updated you guys on and what I haven't.  Total internal temper tantrum happening right now. 

But, that's not the reason why I feel hopeless.  I am going to keep this brief tonight because I will be "speaking" with you guys very soon.  I am so excited.  You will still be able to click on it right here on Blogger.

I just noticed a typo that I am going to keep on this page.  Apparently, I feel helpless and hopeless.  Mmmmm kinda.  Exactly one week ago I made a lame attempt at suicide and landed myself in a crisis center.  I had changed health coverage so I ended up in an new location that scared me and I was going to see another Dr.  Total Panic, Manic, insanity breakdown.  I must have been somewhat sane because I tried to run out of the building like a screaming banshee woman and then I turned to my 6ft tall wife and yelled, "That Bitch in the glass window probably has the ability to lock the doors by pushing a damn button!"  I started laughing and crying and said, "I'm not going to attack her (pointing at tall wife) she can outsmart me!"  I just sat down.  @mindofmedusa showed up 5 minutes later to comfort hers (me) and forced jokes and laughter upon me until it was my time to get a 2nd opinion....

I wish to speak with you directly about the rest of my damn day there so...To Be Continued (I fucking hate that term)

Ridiculously Yours,

Truthaboutcrazy