Deep Thoughts: A Comedy

When I am driving and see a squirrel I slam on my breaks, scream, "oh lord," and check my rear view mirror for a fatality...When I see a human I think, "hmmm...what are my options."

On my way to work I enjoy my morning radio show and talking to myself...when I am at work I look at the glass window every ten minutes wondering if it is made of Pyrex or a thin sliver I can jump through.

My step-mother claims to be a woman of GOD and goes to church every weekend...My father loves me more even though I am a "Gay."

Sometimes my son is the only one that understands me...sometimes my son is the only one that will play video games with me.

I hate books because they represent a long-term commitment with their "thickness" and all...I love articles and read for hours on the Internet.

I dream of Disney World...I also dream of Arsenic.

Money = security; however, Money = evil, therefore, Money = Rotting in hell wearing designer shoes. (my personal favorite)

I like to make up songs about any words that rhyme...I like to annoy people at work, the grocery store, and family functions for the mere sake of being annoying.

I like to think demonic thoughts, fantasize about blood and guts...but I hate "horror flicks."  Hmmmm...maybe it inundates my mind with fun!

Until next time my fellow demonic darlings...

Truthaboutcrazy

psy·cho·sis

Psychosis is a severe mental disorder in which thought and emotions are so impaired that contact is lost with external reality.

The first time this occurs it may be referred to as a "psychotic break."  If it happens again it is eventually referred to as psychosis.

Sooooooooo...........

I am in what I would like to call a "psychosis haze" right now.  I don't want to talk to anyone (unless it is electronically) and I am back to eating more than my stomach can hold in order to avoid cutting.  I snapped about 36 hours ago...I knew it was coming because my insomnia has been back for quite some time and my mania has been full throttle and my low moments have been absolute darkness.  I am completely drugged at the moment...but....with a twist.

The following has medicinally occured today.......

• 9 Xanex (I have passed out on 27 before so...whatever...I know I'm wrong...no need for a lecture)
• 3 Benadryl (it adds a little kick to the X
• 2 glasses of cherry diet dr. pepper with a splash of vodka...I then took a nap
• Woke up and took 1 Tylenol PM, 1 Benadryl, and 1 Xanex

So...to the hardcore pill popper...not to horrifying, but this is typical for me when psychosis sets in.  On a normal day I only take 4mg of Xanex even tho the Dr. has prescribed 5mg per day.  I guess I am subconciously saving up for a rainy day...oh wait...it didn't rain today.

If I were in a full blown psychotic state I wouldn't be able to type this.  However, I find a strange solace in "blog land." 

Finally, everyone is pissed off at my "poor" behavior in the house.  I want to be alone for like 5 days but they are all worried I would slice myself open and unless I eat the rest of the kitchen I probably would.  I don't like the effects of Xanex, actually, it isn't very fun.  I find it to be extremely necessary but when I take a bit of cough syrup, allergy medicine, and top it off with a sleeping pill I can get through like 6 hours completely numb and productive....sigh....next week I will be bitching on here about how manic I am and some new diet craze. 

I feel my buzz wearing off....

So, AGAIN, it takes 5 seconds to create a user name...SHARE your experiences, fears, and ideas with me!

Maniacle Regards,

Truthaboutcrazy